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Adventures of a Not-So-Notorious Pirate
just be careful when you fall you do not go and drown
Created on 2007-01-16 15:04:00 (#12054616), last updated 2007-07-26
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| Name: | Bartholemew Quigley Smeethington |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 01-21 |
| Location: | Neverland |


Full Name: Bartholemew Quigley Smeethington
Nicknames: Smee, Scrumpy Nonconformist
Age: 95
Birthday: February 18th
Birthplace: London, England
Occupation: First mate (and mother hen) to Captain Jas Hook
Effects: Pistol, cutlass, Johnny Corkscrew (his dagger)
Strengths: Good with written words, rather intelligent, actually knows how to calm Hook down, best with a dagger and a fair shot
Weaknesses: Stutters a little when speaking but moreso in a stressful situation, is a little overprotective, sucks at using a cutlass, can’t do math to save his life, can have a panic attack in a really severe situation
Relationship: Friend/First Mate/Parent to Captain Jas. Hook, friends with River Tam, friends with Miss Anita Ainsworth, friends with Miss Adéle , really a little scared of Count D, is friends with Zaheela, is friends with Hotaru.
“He may look like a kindly old man, but Mr. Smee is only too keen to do Captain Hook’s dirty work.” - Sticker Book of Disney Villians
“Smee is Captain Hook's boatswain, best 'mate' and right-hand man, so to speak.” - Wikipedia
”...James [Hook] noted that Mr. Smee was perhaps the most perceptive nonconformist he ever met.”
“Smee sputtered his way across the deck in a rare moment of courage that would not be forgotten by James or Jolly R.”
“Mr. Smee whisled to James [Hook] and tossed him his shorter feder, a less elegant blade but just as lethal. The scrumpy nonconformist infuriated Blood.
“Smee? Not you too?”
“If he don’t finish you, I got Johnny Corkscrew waiting for you.” Smee waggled his serpentine dagger with dogged bravado.”
“Mas-Mas-Master James. It appears as if-as if-as if they’re—“ Smee managed to get the letter “g” out of his throat several times in an attempt to say “gone.”
“We’re free!” he finally blurted out.”
“I want you to meet our first mate, Electra. Mr. Smee. He is a fine, fit fellow. So be nice. I rely on him in all matters of importance.”
Smee did not know whether to be flattered or run away. James delivered the furry beast to Smee’s trembling shoulder, where she immediately stroked his gold earring with her thony legs and hissed a loud whistle.
“She likes you. Good form, Smee.”
Smee shook all over as Electra crawled up the side of his face and perched herself in the notch of his tricorn…”
“Mr. Smee?”
“Aye, Captain?”
“Can we find Africa?”
“Easy as your mum’s pie, Captain.”
“I don’t have a mother.”
“Everybody’s got one somewheres. I’ll make way to set sail.”
“Even the darkest of villains can have a hero’s heart.”
((all of these excerpts from “Capt. Hook: The Adventures of a Notorious Youth”))
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